Jealousy is admiration plus comparison. Think about it. That martial artist you’re jealous of: you admire them and you’re impressed by them. That’s the core of it. That jealousy only comes into play when you start comparing yourself to them. They seem better than you, and you don’t measure up. And now you’re jealous. But without that comparison, it’s simply admiration.
Last year I made a video on the first step to conquering jealousy, and today I’m going to dive into the second. Here’s the recap: when I’m jealous of someone, I focus on the thing I’m jealous of (rather than my feelings of jealousy) and I compliment that person on it. So, if they’re really good at sparring and kicked my ass, I compliment them on their skills. If their kata is awesome, I tell them so. I take myself out of the equation, and focus on them and my admiration for them, and by doing so I take the power out of that jealousy and I transform my relationship with that other person. They are now an inspiration to me, rather than a source of negative feelings.
Here’s the next step in this process: I learn whatever I can from them so that I can be awesome too.
Listen to the full story in my latest podcast episode and video. I talk about a specific example of exactly how I used that knee-jerk jealousy to my advantage, so that I could develop valuable life skills and ultimately improve my overall performance as a result.
Podcast Show Notes
Jealousy sucks. But if we’re willing to do so, we can use that jealousy to our advantage. Join me in this latest episode in a discussion of how we can take the power out of jealousy, and use it to improve our lives as well as our abilities in martial arts.
Thank you for joining me on my martial arts journey, and in the exploration of all the ways we can perform better in life and martial arts.
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